a tack on titan
I don’t even watch this show and I fell out of my chair
Had a dream just now that Macklemore was named TIME magazine’s Most Muggable Musician and he showed up at an interview to accept the award and they mugged him
What’s the point of mugging someone who only has $20 in their pocket
$20 can get you many peanuts
Money can be exchanged for goods and services
My body is ready.
I know it’s mashed potatoes and gravy but is it bad that I thought it was ice cream and caramel?
…it is ice cream and caramel
why would anyone put mashed potatoes and gravy in an apple
mashed potatoes in an apple actually sound good though??
I feel bad for that person though. was probably really embarrassed :(
the difference between birds and birbs
Don’t forget we have to wake up Green Day tomorrow.
Ok just a reminder to everyone: If you’re planning on tweeting billie joe armstrong “wake up” or something tomorrow, DON’T. The song is about his father’s death and so it’s really personal and treating it like a joke isn’t the right thing to do. Plus he’s asked so many times for people to stop and no one listens so yeah. Please don’t do that.
Why is this not taught universally.
A vampire masturbating in front of a mirrorBet you didn’t see that coming
Fun fact: if you approach an employee and insist that they go ‘check the back’ for an item that’s not on the shelf, there is a 90% chance that they’ll go to the back room, scratch their ass and check their text messages for five minutes, and come back out with a sympathetic smile and a ‘Sorry!’ because they know without even looking that the stock isn’t there.
Or the old “can you ask a manager?”
after two bad endings i finally finished the dog’s route yesterday so per rule im drawing stupid things while downloading reconnect